Essay Analysis #1

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Essay Analysis #1

Post  ElisiaSan on Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:36 pm

This essay beginning was quite a piece of work. What I liked most about it was that the author really explained everything pretty well. There was a lot of information thrown out there that helped to build accreditation between the reader and writer. There was also a great word choice, showing intelligence and that the author knew what they were talking about.
Some of the author’s thoughts didn’t really have a nice flow to them. There were also some noticeable grammatical issues that aided in the ill intent of a flow. The second sentence should have been worded differently. For example, it could have read, Reiki is derived from two Japanese words, Rei, which means God, and Ki, meaning force energy in life. I feel like if the author would have used a different way of wording the second sentence in the first paragraph, it would have helped the flow of the rest of the paper. Also, a lot of the sentences seemed to be short and choppy. If these things could be fixed, this would be a good start to a great paper.

ElisiaSan
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